Baby Names

 People’s fates are simplified by their names. — Elias Canetti

Your name is one of the most important things that you have; it’s like your title, and who doesn’t judge a book by its title?  I was lucky enough to enjoy my name, the most ridicule I got for it was, “Hey Tia, where’s Tamera??” which got annoying.. but I still liked it, and I knew others were less fortunate.

 My boyfriend for example, has a girl name. When we are in public and he needs to give his name, he goes by Jay instead of Jade, it just cracks me up.  Celebrities have a knack for coming up with the most god awful names too; Pirate, Apple,  D’ Lila Star??? Really P Diddy..  That sounds like a stripper’s name!

So of course I want the perfect name for my baby, that they won't get made fun of for, or have a horrible nick-name growing up. I am just having trouble finding it. I have come across names that I like, but nothing that I loveee. I also don't want a name that is too boring or too common. It also doesn’t help that every name me or my boyfriend do like or come up with, one of us knew someone with that name- that was a betch, hoe, or premium doushe :| It is just so hard coming up with a name! Pregnant betches problems...

I also want the name I choose to have a nice meaning, for example my name means princess in greek- and of course that fits me…

So here is my list of names that weren't too boring or reminded me of a slore or a doushie;

Top 5 Tia Liked Girl Names:

1.       Kiara; Meaning: Clear, bright and famous in Latin and Italian> I am leaning towards this one.

2.       Melany; Meaning: Black in Greek. Like the name but the meaning would have no meaning.

3.       Kiana; has no meaning online…

4.       Keira: Meaning: Dark. My baby is going to be dark, but I don’t want their name to be that.

5.       Arianna: Meaning: Very holy one. I want my baby to be religious, but Jade and I haven’t gone to church for 11 months…

Top 5 Tia Liked Boy Names:

1.       Aiden: Meaning: Little Fire> I think that this is cute.

2.       Brayden; Meaning: Broad and Wide> ehh..

3.       Kayden; had no meaning online..

4.       Bentley; Meaning: Bent grass clearing??? I don’t know what this means..

5.       Kash;  Meaning: Money, profit> Everyone likes money right?

 
The meanings are what throw me off on these names, but those are the names I am thinking of as of now. I have 2 polls for boys and girls names so help me decide and know your favorites!

Pregnant Betches Thoughts

14 weeks! About to become a parent has got me thinking a lot about my relationship with my parents. How often I showed them that I appreciated them and how often I put them through hell. I heard that how bad you were as a kid; you’re going to get it 7 times worse…and I wasn’t the best of kids. You learn from how your parents raised you, what you want to do similar and what you want to do differently. Even though it is years away when my child hits the rebellious phase, I am curious on how I am going to raise my child and what values I want to bestow onto them without being a hypocrite. Now my parents were strict, but I always found a loop hole for sneaking out or lying, I feel like this is already going to make me a paranoid mom, knowing all the tricks and what not. I wonder if one day my baby boy or girl will be throwing parties while I am away or sneaking out in the middle of the night to go party; hiding their whole life from me like I did to my parents.

Although I would loveeee for a little mini me, I hope that they don’t turn out as disrespectful as I was. I had never really showed my parents how much I appreciated all they did for me growing up, and now I realize how much I should. My parents had always put me first, even though we didn’t have much, I always seemed to get what I wanted. Even now they are the only people I can fully count on.

  

What I hope to be is the mom, who is lenient until I have a reason not to be- then there will be bars on the window and their door will be removed! It will be funny disciplining because I had never been grounded! It is nerve-racking wondering how my baby is going to turn out; if they are going to be like me or their dad or completely different from us, if they are going to be a nerd like me or more athletic like their dad. Either way, I hope that I will be a good mom and karma won’t kick me in the butt!

How my life has changed

Pregnant Brainstorming and Venting

           I used to always say I would never have kids, ever. I was always a me-me-me type of person doing whatever I wanted, when I wanted. I admit I was self-centered but now that I am 6 months away from bringing a new life into this world, I am far from that and instead, entirely stressed. It’s like a mother’s instinct to want the best for your child, and seeing as I am taking a year off of school now, I am stuck wondering what I am going to do to be financially capable of raising my child. I read that mothers have a nesting instinct and that they will stress out that everything is perfect for their child before they are born, that is what I am going through right now.

 Initially I had wanted to get into the journalism field whether writing or broadcasting, which is why I chose the University of Oregon, there program is amazing. But now I am wondering if going to school for three more years is the right choice, I want income; now. That is why I have recently been considering an esthetician program, a 7 month program in which I will become a licensed esthetician and ready for employment. I need a job, any job that is over minimum wage to feel confident that I am going to be okay to raise a family in this economy. An esthetician’s average wage is around 15 dollars but can move up to 20, which I am honestly content with at this time; the problem is my family does not approve of my altered plan. They believe that the best way is to get a degree and then a career, which was my original plan, but now I realize that my whole way of doing things must change. A bachelor’s degree now is becoming equivalent to a high school diploma anyhow, just because you have one does not mean you’re guaranteed a job. Then again substituting a bachelor’s degree from a university, instead with a license from a cosmetology school is risky too. There are so many chances that I could take, but I am worried that I might choose the wrong one.      Changing my dream is one thing that has changed, but I still do not regret anything, I just need to know that I will be able to give him/her a strong independent mom that can give them the world. Here is the start of my struggle and I know that in the end, everything is going to work out. I know that I have time but it would be a lot easier if I was already prepared for this, but I guess life is never really easy. PBP.

First Trimester!

I actually had a dream that I was pregnant before buying a pregnancy test the next day. I honestly never imagined actually seeing 2 lines on that test. I didn't wait and made an ultrasound appointment that week. To me, the dream was the first sign on how amazing pregnancy is, I feel as if my baby was telling me to knock off all my horrible habits. For the last 3 years I paid no attention to my own health smoking daily and drinking often so I was glad to have that intuition to get a test. I was 5 weeks pregnant but at the time I had not known that, I assumed I was at 7 or 8 weeks. At the appointment, there was no embryo present, not even a yolk sac. My doctor told me that I had a high chance of miscarriage within the next week and how I should prepare for that. One of the most irritating things about doctors is how everything they say; good news, or bad, sounds like they could care less anyhow. I cried the whole ride home. The following week I spent every day in bed, waiting, crying some more and goog-ling as many things I could to relate to what I was going through. The week past and I did not miscarry. I did self-diagnose myself with a blighted ovum and tried to prepare myself to not see anything going in.

 My boyfriend was nervous; he had grown more and more excited on being a dad. Surprisingly that day, I saw my little my baby and heard his heartbeat; I was in shock. The heartbeat is the first sign of reality, that there is another life inside me, that this is real. So at this point my baby just kept continuing to amaze me.
 So that was the beginning of my pregnancy, as if I was not already emotional enough raging with hormones I had a false diagnosis of an abnormal pregnancy. Now here I am at 12 weeks 3 days with a healthy perfect little baby. I had my second ultrasound this week on exactly 12 weeks. this time instead of just seeing a little peanut shape I actually saw my baby's feet legs and tiny button nose. He was doing flips, headstands, and rolling over. I couldn't tell if he was having fun or was that uncomfortable. At this point looking up at s/he I was about to cry again, I had never cried before because I was so happy. I created this baby, and I am already so in love with them. This was the point where it definitely made all of the horrible things worth it, and there are a lot of horrible things that come along with pregnancy.... it was the point where I realized that everything I was giving up, was worth it.
Okay the horrible things that come along with pregnancy. Honestly if I didn't know I was pregnant I would think I was dying. One, I do not look pregnant right now, just fat. I honestly want to wear a shirt saying, “I am not fat just pregnant.”
Two, during most of my first trimester, I did not get off my couch. The exhaustion for me was one of the worst things especially since I was not drinking any more Redbulls or caffeine (my other addiction) I think I went through some caffeine withdrawals. Thirdly, the nausea, I don't know if it was lucky for me, but I did not puke at all so far, but my body sure as hell wanted to. The nausea would get worse if I was not constantly eating! And then it was a cycle of nauseous because I am hungry, but then I can't eat because I am nauseous.
Now lastly I had a few things I really wanted to vent about, people who go on and on about how disgusting teen moms are. I am nineteen and pregnant and so sick of hearing judgmental comments toward teen moms when a person doesn’t even understand half of the things you have to do differently and sacrifice as soon as you find out you are going to be a mom. Becoming pregnant is a result of ones careless actions but a mother who keeps there child owns up to their decision which is admirable in my eyes. I was surprised at how many people had told me that I should get an abortion or they would or had got an abortion. I honestly do not care what someone chooses to do, it is just my own personal belief that, I got myself into this and I am not going to take an innocent life because of my actions. I mainly ask that if I do not judge you or push opinions upon you, please do the same. I actually know someone who got an abortion at seventeen and as soon as she found out that I am pregnant and keeping it, started posting degrading statuses toward teen moms and gloating on how she does not have a child through Facebook posts. Abortion must be a hard thing to go through, but I just don't understand how you can act like you never had a kid and look down upon others for making a different decision than you. Now I just got done with my first year at the University of Oregon with a full tuition scholarship. Sadly my sister even tries to make me feel bad and say no one thought that you would get pregnant, you were supposed to be the smart one in the family and made it to college...
 Even though it feels like I'm dying, I'm not. I am postponing my education to be closer to my family and boyfriend which is the most important thing right now. My intelligence and ambition will not go away, if anything I am only more motivated to be successful FOR my child. Becoming pregnant early is harder than when you’re older. You struggle, you have to figure out how to make ends meet and are forced to grow up right then and there, but I know that my child is worth it. People frown upon teen pregnancy, but any mom out there right now does not deserve to be looked down upon for doing the hardest job in the world. In making judgments upon others that only shows more ignorance and immaturity.